VanishedLeafofManito

Noni / Lily / Anna (ah-nah)
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As Papi said...

2 min read
"It pokes you in the eye - it pokes you in the heart..."



An ess of snake, w/ the little swerve downstage as though about to discover one's self... spiney... greater on top... tipsy... not gracefully right~brained, but volatiley eratic(sp?)...
Evil... an Eastern evil with the consequences of the sin mixed in...



My hyroglific for all that threatens... for all that threatens all that should be... for all that exists to set off what should be... all that to exist must exist against a contrasting background...  If I write white on white... and noone so much as knows that I've written it...  and I am unaware of it myself at all levels...  is it really there?  What if I write with the tip of my finger in the air... a mental note... but don't note it mentally...  What good is it?.....


Of what use is death?  I must believe that something is worth this... something that I will one day be able to claim, or at least to bask in... something that I threaten when I threaten that which threatens it...

I must fight it in my fought-for being, and remain ... at war ...
remain ... and remain ...

I must be.
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Double Comments

1 min read
It has come to my attention that I need to stop DOUBLE clicking 'submit' or 'send' on comments, and I'm sorry.  :remorse: < just in case that does anything.
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What's the difference between a 'comment' and a 'devious comment'?
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Summer Swelter post script ~ 13/2/06 ~ If you like the piece enough to be curious, I was dinking around with transparency to make that horny pink background a little gentler and less... well... grody.  I haven't decided whether I went too far or not, but I may post a modified version and/or move this to scraps...  Not tonight, though  (*Need sleep*).

Also, FYI, I've been working on the same photo in an entirely different colour scheme as well...  I'm not exactly sure which of the colours I want to emphasize or how I want to change them, though, or if some of the colours even remotely fit any of the potential situational suggestions of the photograph.  In the other colour scheme, the work would have an entirely different name...  I'm considering 'Alley Seige', but that might be a little...  obvious, boring, not saying anything...  On the other hand, if the piece communicates well enough for itself, the name should just be to help in finding/discussing it later, and I am all for people finding their own meanings in my artwork...  The more specific things that it says to me may mean nothing to others, and I don't even know everything about how MY own mind works.  The unposted colour scheme involves a lovely violet, Fushia, which I tend to loathe, but goes fairly well with the others (Magenta would be better... perhaps I can fix some of this in MS Paint...), and a green that Kim would love and goes well with the photograph, but....  it isn't QUITE right...  

I wish I had someone actually sitting next to me to help me feel these things out, but I'd probably get mad at them when we disagreed, I suppose...  In most artistic situations, too many cooks spoil the broth MISERABLY, and often regret their own input later and are confused even about what they mean themselves, unless it's a production that fundamentally incorporates perspectives and workings of various minds, like a theatrical work with various characters or a community mural.  Aren't those productions beautiful?  I just love the arts!
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Men / Distrust

2 min read
Thursday the 3rd of February 2005

re: w.c. - A man doesn't have to mean anything whatsoever, personally, to a girl beforehand, or even after, to break her heart.

re: chris / NWC- I ask the voice that haunts me, the voice that hides itself inside me,
"What's the alterior motive of a relatively old, trusted aquaintance w/ a gentleman's routine who claims w/ pride to be a nice guy?
Could even a guy who truly knew me be trusted to care anymore?"
And I'm worthless in the world of bitterness around me
because I can't seem to sincerely trust that God can even breathe.
What is it in this place?  Can people really care?
Isn't heartbreak a part of growing up here as anywhere?
Things are just as when I left;
People are confiedent of where they're going...
I used to be a part of that,
But now it's I who show up needy,
begging anyone to see the tears I will not show,
And now it's too late to come back home...
I gotta be ready to face the world alone now.

'It's a bad neighborhood... you'd know... you live here...' Well, I hear you... I go ahead and speak the subliminal message: 'whatever.' e.g.- 'nice accurate b.s., there' I shock myself.  I'm afraid to let this tension out... does it mean that I've already lost the innocence I'm fighting so to protect?  You'd be so dissapointed in me if you saw it, Chris... you all would. Best suck it up.  It's just a silly emotion anyway... I can act on the brutal reality and stuff the bitterness... can't I? Where do I come off thinking that he must be after something I dowanna give... him!  I suppose that I'm just that bent on never trusting a man again.

P.S. Daydreams can keep a lass alive...  A chap as well, I suppose.
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Featured

As Papi said... by VanishedLeafofManito, journal

Double Comments by VanishedLeafofManito, journal

'Devious Comments' by VanishedLeafofManito, journal

'Summer Swelter' Update by VanishedLeafofManito, journal

Men / Distrust by VanishedLeafofManito, journal